Silent Whimpers, Shared Tears

🐾 When Hearts Hurt Together: How Dogs Grieve, Too

August 2024 was the kind of month I wouldn’t wish on anyone. In less than four weeks, I lost my husband of 20 years, my father, my aunt, my cousin—and two of my beloved dogs. The weight of it was unbearable. But through the silence and sorrow, something both heartbreaking and beautiful became clear: I wasn’t grieving alone. My surviving dogs were grieving with me.

Grief isn’t just a human experience. Our pets—especially dogs—can deeply feel the absence of the people and animals they love. They may not understand why someone is gone, but they absolutely feel that something is missing. And like us, their grief can show up in many ways:

• Withdrawing from play or social interaction
• Loss of appetite or disinterest in treats they once loved
• Sleeping more—or less
• Pacing, whining, or searching for the person or pet who’s no longer there
• Clinging to us more tightly than before

One of my dogs would curl up in my husband’s old shirt. Another refused to eat unless I hand-fed him. These weren’t behavioral quirks—they were expressions of grief.

As pet parents, we often feel pressure to “stay strong” for our pets. But I’ve learned that grief is not something to be pushed aside—it’s something to be shared. Sitting quietly with my dogs, crying into their fur, letting them nuzzle me when I had no words… that was healing for all of us.

If you’re going through loss—or have been through it—know this: your pets feel with you. And they need comfort and patience, just like we do.

Here are a few gentle ways to support a grieving dog:

• Keep routines steady – predictability is comforting
• Offer extra affection, even if they seem withdrawn
• Give them time – healing is not linear
• Let them mourn – don’t rush them out of sadness
• Consider calming aids, like pheromone diffusers or acupressure

Grief, for both people and pets, is a testament to love. It hurts because it mattered. And when we allow space for that hurt—without shame or silence—we honor the bond we had.

To everyone who’s loved and lost: you’re not alone. Your pets aren’t either.

With love and gentleness,

Kara Ann

Paws and Pens